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  1.  
    This event has been going on for a number of years now, but this year Coffee Cycle will be the starting point/host for the ride. This is what I received as the ride description/invite:



    Thanksgiving 5 faces of Soledad
    Want an excuse to annoy your in-laws by falling asleep in you gravy?
    Changes to your sick tradition of suffering have occurred - READ BELOW!




    Welcome to the 10th-ish Annual suffer-fest we call The Thanksgiving Day 5 Faces of Soledad cheesy email.

    SO SHOW UP AND THROW UP!

    Leave at 8:00 am Thanksgiving Day 2019 Rain or Shine
    NEW NEW START PLACE AT COFFEE CYCLE in PB (1632 Grand). They open at 6 am so come out and support a local business that also supports what you LOVE to do. Come on, they opened up on Thanksgiving for you to take the only legal performance enhancing stimulant you can take so show up early and buy a coffee and tasty treat.


    Details:

    Riding is dangerous, people get hurt and have got hurt while riding in front of me on this very climb-a-thon, this is not an organized ride, just some friends riding up a hill together on Thanksgiving day and hurting. There is no support, you are on your own, it is not sanctioned by the city of San Diego or state of California or the Mexican consulate. Be careful….seriously...don't take risks and look for vehicles.


    -This is a friendly competition for bragging rights with your friends, or to compete against yourself and your previous PR, or just ride up this hill and hang out with friends and other wierdo bike nerds…you know who I’m talking about guy-who-matches-his-stem-with-his-hubs-with-his-kit-highlight-color
    -clipboard at the top recording ALL finishers (if you want to be recorded). This is a new modification because I have fallen out of the top 15 as the competition gets stiffer and stiffer year after year.
    -competition is up only. Descend safely, don’t pass people without letting them know you are there or better yet at all.

    SCORING IS NEW/OLD…AGAIN

    -First off I’d like to apologize for not sending the scoring list to everyone last year AGAIN - or maybe I did - I don’t remember. If you all want to chip in about 50 bucks per person I will be GLAD to not even ride this thing and keep a very accurate score but since nobody needs to pay to ride their bike lets omit this step. We will get the first 5 correct then try to figure out where you finished so you can have some bragging rights. Maybe we can post a top 50 finishers at Coffee Cycle later in the week, you can show them your ID then they can give you a high five when you come in and order a cold brew later in the week. Try to not sweat or drool too bad on the score sheet, it is gross and makes your name smudged. The other thing that made names illegible was the handwriting (I can’t read my own so I am guilty as well). Print clearly.


    -Because I don’t have the organizational skills of Brook I have simplified the scoring to be calculated the day of, see below: there will be an announcement of the top 5 finishers, top 3 will get hosed with bubbly.
    - A sheet well be on a table to write your name on, remember, it ISN’T WHO GETS IN LINE FIRST. It is who crosses the red line at the top first don’t cut in front of the person who finished before you. Hustle over and get in line to write your name down to avoid confusion. If you draw an arrow in between names to try to confuse me, congratulations, this will work. Try to make it super easy and I’ll try to get it correct.
    -Only one catagory for men, one for women. Sorry old guys like me, it sucks getting old huh, don’t worry we were never fast anyway (except Herb…that guy still is fast).
    -For simplicity during the ride day, points will be given to top 5 finishers only (5 to 1st place, 4 to 2nd place.., you get the idea)… If you finish out of the top 5 on a lap…sorry, doesn’t count, hope you had Strava running to prove you even showed up slacker. Still… write your name down for us to calculate overall standings at a later time, if we have a volunteer we may be able to keep tighter tabs on who is in the hunt for the podium, then post the spreadsheet later.
    All the other strange things I tried to do to increase participation and riding hard totally back fired on me. So scoring will be the total following the above
  2.  
    algorithm.

    Other mildly unimportant points:
    -There is a faint red line near the top that is the finishing line…scope it out if you take this thing seriously.
    -Honor system records the scoring just get off your bike and write your name down, try not to puke on the paper. Write your name so someone can read it.
    -We wait for everyone and rest till the last person makes it up. If you are a super late finisher you may have to sit one out and catch up on the next up.
    -Most points wins. Podium is 3 places, that is where we hose you down with champagne and super hot chicks and dudes kiss the winner.
    -Rain or shine.
    -Bring last years trophy and we will sharpie you in
    - PEOPLE CRASH ON THE LAST HILL. DONT BE LIKE THE GUY I TOLD NOT TO CRASH, THEN HE WENT AHEAD AND CRASHED AND BROKE HIS WRIST on the UNMARKED speedbump at the top of UPPER HILLSIDE. - this is now kind of marked but whatever. Two people have crashed…don’t be like them. ALSO THE PAVEMENT ON THIS HILL SUCKS!!!!!!! DON”T SLOW SPEED CRASH AT 2.5 MILES PER HOUR IN SOME OF THE 1FOOT WIDE POT HOLES. YES, THIS HAPPENED ALSO.

    Route



    Thanks to Sigurd for making the following maps possible!

    GPS Race ascents in RED
    https://ridewithgps.com/routes/31460216

    GPX file:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EWdCPiDhg1qXlc6lg5rlarAWF3Ca8m7z/

    UP 1: The pain starts by head slowly AND SLOW ROOL DOWN GRAND, RIGHT ON FANUEL AND RIDE UP TO THE LIGHT ON FOOTHILL/TURQUOISE NEXT TO THE MORMON CHURCH. We wait for everyone to get there then wait for a green light and Start at turquoise, straight up cardeno to the cross.

    Down 1: Down soledad mountain road almost to bottom, left on felspar, left on Pico

    UP 2: Pain starts at bluffside intersection of Pacifica, up pacifica, left amity, left middleton road, rt middleton way, left soledad ranch road, rt soledad mountain road, and all the way up to the cross

    Down 2: Down Nautilus all the way to windnsea beach for a photo op!

    UP 3: Up nautilus slow to la jolla blvd. Start at the light, wait for everyone…Cross La Jolla blvd and the pain starts. Up nautilus, up valverde, up via casa alta and over to the cross.

    Down 3: Via capri, down hidden valley, to la jolla parkway. Watch out on this downhill it isn’t awesome.

    UP 4: Hidden valley, to via capri, to the cross

    Down 4: Same as the next up so you see all the hazards (which are many). BE CAREFUL ON THIS DECENT! Potholes, speed bumps, curbs and grates abound on this. I get it you think this is a dumb warning and you are cool because you rip down Palomar in your supertuck; please don’t make me feel bad because you crashed on a decent in an uphill only race. Hey don’t worry, if you didn’t crash on the way down, you still have a chance on the way up, which is historically the preferred method of getting of your bike on this hill.
    via casa alta, through the gate, through another gate, watch the speed bump, down upper hillside, encelia, brodeaea, romero to country club stop at country club and exchange, awkwardly turn your bike around and wait for me to yell go.

    UP 5: exchange street heading to country club, romero, brodiaea, encelia, upper hillside, through the gate, CAREFULL of the speed bumps, through the next gate, up via casa alta, and over to the cross. This route seems to confuse folks, so if you have any questions…. study it. Also anyone who wants to stand at the top of Upper Hillside and warn people to NOT CRASH would be appreciated. Luckily (unluckily) this is the most difficult climb of the day in both bike handling skills (can’t wait to see someone try to hop the curbs) and steepness.


    YES! NOW you can eat without guilt!!

    CELEBRATION

    When we are all done (around 11) we'll have a quick victory celebration. Prizes may include sunscreen, toothpaste, beer, coffee, mugs, free hugs and possibly some other bike stuff. This is actually pretty funny and is a good time to talk to some fellow sufferers. If you have previous year trophies, you should bring them, we can ducktape them to the new ones so they will live on in infamy. Some food, and beverages will be at the top but if you want to bring some delicious things feel free, I’ll have a table set up at the top and a cooler with some Coke and electrolyte drinks.

    NOTES:
    - Tell your friends! We want them to come. No dopers, nobody who complains about my lack of organizational skills, lack of prizes, or my body odor.
    -Thanks to Chris at Coffee Cycle, Gitman/Holland people, and other folks for helping support and organize this. I just write the emails and yell at the start line.