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Off Topic: Bicycle jokes

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    • CommentAuthorJim
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2010
     
    A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

    The first nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"

    The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

    The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
    •  
      CommentAuthorbikingbill
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2010
     
    The Pope walks into a butcher shop one day.

    The butcher says:

    "What will you be having today, beef or mutton?"

    The Pope says:

    "It matters not, my BICYCLE is parked outside."
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      CommentAuthorSigurd
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2010
     
    You Know You're Addicted To Cycling When...

    10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

    9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

    8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

    7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

    6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

    5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

    4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

    3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

    2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

    AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

    1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbikingbill
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2010
     
    Cliff Bars DO taste better than Snickers.
  5.  
    Jim:A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

    N-ever
    E-nding
    R-adical
    D-ude
    :face-devil-grin:
    •  
      CommentAuthorbilld
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2010
     
    Njord Noatun:1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
    Ouch. That one hit a little too close to home (damned allergies!).
    • CommentAuthorzonal
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2010
     
    That 'Addicted to Cycling' list above is fantastic.

    Here's one from back in the day:

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    ADD kid.
    ADD kid who?
    Wanna ride bikes?
    • CommentAuthorcaboose
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2010
     
    I don't get how people call me gay when they drive by and riding my bicycle. They're only half right.

    After all, it's called a BI-cycle. :)
    • CommentAuthorHMeins
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2010
     
    I get that a lot from little kids in school buses. One wonders what else they're learning from their bigoted parents.

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